The Master Jesus told us to love one another, a lesson that all the wise have given in various forms, but most people know from experience that their love has limits. Feeling positive toward some and not others is so common that we take it for granted unless, stirred by spiritual teaching, we think we should try to upgrade ourselves, that we should make an effort to be more loving to those we know. Recently, one seeker put it this way: I can feel God’s love when I am by myself, and with those I am close to, but not with those who hurt me or harm me. What should I do?

Sufism, as it is taught by Hazrat Inayat Khan, does not have any ‘shoulds.’ Every soul is on its own journey, making its way toward the infinite, and what is right for one at any particular moment may not be right for another. But what Sufism does show is the path to the ultimate goal of spiritual realisation, and to reach the place of unity we must put aside the divisions the soul has learned as a consequence of coming to this earth.

Love is infinite and knows no barriers. When we do not love some, it is caused by our limited way of seeing; if we were to see with God’s eyes, there would be a place for everyone in our heart.

No doubt some will say, “But many do bad things – hateful things. How can they be loved?” And the answer is that there is a great difference between what a person does and what a person is. Usually, we are completely absorbed in the temporary cloak of actions and forms, and totally unaware of the essence which is our true nature. Our thoughts, speech and actions are only limited reflections of the divine light that is our being; much of what is done – by ourselves if we are honest, as well as by others – is not loveable, but if we have insight, we will recognise that humans are more to be pitied than to be blamed for this. Indeed, the more we study ourselves, the more compassion we must have for others, seeing with understanding the difficulties that each one faces. And blessed is the soul who breaks free of the limitations and is able to express the divine light in a pure way.

If we find ourselves unable to love some people, and if this troubles us and we wish to change, then we could approach the question in two ways. One is to look ever more deeply into those we dislike, and try to see another side, or to see the essence that lies within them. The other is to look more deeply into God. He lures us with the things we like, with gentleness, with friendship, with sweetness, with people who can (sometimes) be loveable – with cake and ice cream if that is what we respond to – but He is the God of all and yet is beyond all. The more we surrender to His Infinity, the less we will find to criticise in His creation.