In a recent post on discipleship, Hazrat Inayat Khan says that the first step on the path is to learn consideration, and even declares that the “birth of consideration is in reality the birth of the soul.”  But what does he mean by this word ‘consideration’?

Generally, to consider means to think carefully about something, to give attention to some matter, and therefore to show consideration toward a person implies that we are thinking of them–but is there some particular way in which that consideration should manifest?  Does it mean that we should be attendant upon others,  like a diligent servant?  Should we hover around them, trying to fulfil their every need?  Or is it more subtle than that?

Hazrat Inayat sometimes told a story about once visiting a certain doctor in India.  A relative in the household was ill, and Inayat was sent to the doctor, who was a friend of the family, for a prescription.  The office was full, with perhaps fifteen or twenty people crowded into a small room, so Inayat took his place and waited.  He thought that, as a favour to the family, the doctor would see him quickly, but instead he dealt with first one and then another patient, until at last all had left and only Inayat remained.  Then the doctor said, “Now, tell me what you want.”

Inayat explained, and the doctor wrote out the prescription in an unhurried way.   As Inayat was leaving, the doctor said, “I hope you understand that I did not want to see you while all the other patients were there.  I wanted to see you at leisure.”  Inayat concluded, “He was doing me a favour, and though he tried my patience, it was still a majestic sort of favour.”

In other words, consideration is not a particular way of acting, but it is an attitude, an awareness of others and their situation, and a willingness to accommodate ourselves to them.  That may be shown in words, in deeds, or even in silence, which is sometimes the most compassionate course. But fundamental to consideration in the Sufi sense is the link of sympathy with the other person.  It is a recognition that their happiness and our happiness are not separate, and that is why consideration is born with the birth of the soul.

So long as we feel we are isolated and detached individuals, our soul is only embryonic, and whatever courtesy we show toward others will be mechanical.  When the confines of the ego loosen, and we begin to think of those around us, our consideration becomes living, while our horizon starts to expand toward infinity.