Here is a question that was recently sent by a seeker : How can a person be “indifferent” and “independent” when we have career, family, children, social obligations to cater to?

We may recognize ‘indifference’ and ‘independence’ from Hazrat Inayat Khan’s explanation of the symbolism of the Sufi emblem, composed of a heart, a crescent moon, a star, and two wings. We may understand the star to represent the light of guidance, and the crescent moon to represent the responsive or reflective quality. The two wings are said to denote indifference and independence, by which the heart is able to fly upward. Taken all together, these elements can be read as : The heart, responsive to the light of God, is liberated. But, how can we live in the world and manage to be independent and indifferent?

From birth, the soul experiences dependence. It has come from absolute liberty, and now it suddenly knows helplessness. The new born baby cannot do anything for itself; it must be cared for constantly, and even when we grow, we are always waiting upon the needs, both real and imagined, of our body. But we also become enmeshed in a web of other dependencies – material, cultural, social and emotional. To make the journey to freedom, we must begin to examine our habits carefully, and ask of every impulse : ‘What is the motive? Why do I want this? Do I need it? Is the reward worth the cost?’ And by that examination, it is possible to slowly wean ourselves of so much that weighs us down.

But the wing of independence must also be enabled by meditation. Without this practice, we may succeed in developing an ascetic discipline, but we will not be free; we will always be fighting with the world and with ourselves, a battle that never ends. By meditation, we begin to know, first, that we are not our physical body, and then later, that we are not the mind, either; ‘I’ is not created by these forms, nor is it limited by them.

As for the other wing, the word ‘indifference’ is very often misunderstood as being a kind of cold detachment from those around us, but that is not at all the intention. As the heart struggles to be free, it naturally discovers ever more sensitivity within itself, and the indifference we must cultivate is toward the pains of our own feeling heart. This is referred to in this phrase from Gayan Boulas: The pain of life is the price paid for the quickening of the heart. It does not mean we should lose our sympathy for the pains of others, but that we should learn to rise above our own pains. In another Boulas, we find : Self-pity is the cause of all the grievances of life.

In other words, we may unfold the wings of the heart without abandoning our obligations. Indifference and independence are found within. Certainly the spreading of those liberating wings may lead us to make changes in our life, but those will be guided by wisdom and unity, not by separation and division. That is the ideal of the Sufi, to live in the world but not be ‘of’ the conflicts and limitations of the world.