Tales : The Mullah defeats the Scholar

It happened once upon a time that the Governor of the province where Mullah Nasruddin was living was approached by a travelling scholar. The scholar was a very arrogant man who had studied many books in different fields and in many different languages and was convinced that he was intellectually superior to everyone in the world.

Presenting himself before the Governor, this scholar said, “I challenge your Excellency! Bring me your most learned citizen, and I will certainly defeat him in any debate. I even allow your scholar to choose the subject. If you fail to answer my challenge, your province will be shamed and dishonoured!”

The Governor said he would find someone to debate with the scholar, but none of the wise men of his province wanted to accept the role. They feared that if they were defeated, they would be punished. So one after another they made excuses, and finally, the Governor had no choice but to send for Mullah Nasruddin.

Nasruddin came to the palace wearing his second best turban and presented himself to the Governor, who said, “Mullah, you have to defend the honour of our province and defeat this Scholar. My minister has a bag of gold if you succeed. But he also has a knife, and if you fail to defeat him, you will find out what the knife is for.”

When the scholar arrived, he looked with scorn at Nasruddin, and said, “Is this the best your province can find? Very well, Mullah. You can choose the subject. What shall we debate?”

Nasruddin stroked his beard, and said, “I suppose you are familiar with the book, “The Seven Levels of Philopraxis in Advanced Abstract Ontogony”?”

The Scholar snorted scornfully. “Of course,” he said.

“Then we will debate the conclusions of the thirty-fifth chapter.”

The Scholar curled his lip in disdain. “It is a matter for children,” he said. “I will take one night to prepare, and tomorrow, beware, for I will destroy you.”

When he had gone, the Governor looked nervously at Nasruddin, and said, “Are you sure you can defeat him, Mullah?”

“Positive, your Excellency. In fact, you can give me the gold right now.”

“But how can you be so certain?”

“Because the book I named does not exist.”

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