We continue the lecture by Hazrat Inayat Khan on the forms and methods necessary to spread the divine Message. The previous post may be found here. For the sake of clarity, the final two paragraphs of part II are re-posted below.

And now coming to the question which attitude we must have towards others, our attitude towards those who sympathize with us should be one of appreciation, but we should also try to make strangers our friends and never turn friends into strangers. We must value friendship, and once we make a friend, we must always try to continue the friendship. This is the secret of spirituality.

We need not urge upon others our faiths or beliefs, but we must prepare them to appreciate another outlook. Even if we accomplished this in ten years, even if in ten years one person looks at the Message from our point of view, it is something accomplished. But by trying to urge, we antagonize. Would you believe that in my experience in working for the cause I discovered that many of those who work with enthusiasm and sincerity, giving their thought and time to the cause, are apt to antagonize others, in spite of all their good intention of bringing them closer to the Message? And thus instead of good, a great deal of harm is being done.

Also, there are many who, not knowing human psychology, would say a word of praise for the cause or for Murshid, something about the greatness of the Message or about a subtle principle of Sufi philosophy, thereby antagonizing a person who is incapable of understanding it immediately. Therefore it is so very essential for us who are doing pioneer-work just now to be so careful not to spoil them for ever, and not to antagonize them in any way, but to wait patiently. I have seen a person coming to me ten years after he had heard me but once, because he had left without being antagonized. But if you antagonize a person, then this person is lost for ever, to us as well as to the Message–and to himself. That is the greatest pity, not that he does not become a member of our society. What is it, after all!

Besides, our relatives and those near and dear to us, whom we would so much like to take part in our interest–leave them alone. Trying to interest them may antagonize them. Once a person is antagonized, he is lost for ever, but if you go slowly there will come a day that he will appreciate what we say, and it is our own conviction that will make him appreciate it more than anything else in the world. And those who want to leave us, let them leave with smiles, so that if they greet us today, tomorrow they will come.

I was very amused one day. A member who used to go from one society to another came to the Sufi Movement from the Theosophical Society. This lady had some influence in Holland, and therefore her leaving the Theosophical Society was very disappointing to many of its members. It was also a tender spot in her heart, for after having come to the Sufi Movement she had kept a great sympathy for the Theosophical Society. Then Mrs. Besant* was visiting The Hague, and with a guilty conscience she went to see Mrs. Besant. She said, “I regret I had to leave, but you will understand, I was meant for discipleship and I went to Inayat Khan.” And Mrs. Besant said, “Go. Many like you have come and gone from our society; your leaving is no loss to us.” And would you believe, from that day the little sympathy she had for the Theosophical Society was all wiped out, and the slight pricking of her conscience because of her having left the Theosophical Society was taken away by Annie Besant. She came smiling to me and said, “I am very happy that she has spoken to me like this.” You can see the psychology of this. If Mrs. Besant would have controlled herself more, the other would have kept her sympathy for the Theosophical Society, as she had a tender spot for it in her heart; but just by that one crude answer she antagonized her for her whole life. She never looked at the Theosophical Society anymore. Imagine!

This has nothing to do with the teachings, only with the attitude of the worker, with the way it acts upon a person. In our everyday life a psychological consideration is of the greatest importance in spiritual work. You would be surprised if I were to tell you my spiritual experiences; every day, there is no end to them. And such amusing experiences! Some come and say, “I don’t like a personal thought for any teacher; I only want to study the teachings.” Another comes and says, “It is you who are the Sufi Order or Movement; if you were not the teacher, I would not have thought of joining. I would have been against it; it is only you.” And a third person comes and says, “Murshid, if you were to teach me, I would learn from you all my life, but I cannot stand the other members.” And the fourth says, “Yes, I believe in all you teach, but I don’t want to become a Sufi.” I told this person, “Then you do not want to become wise, for Sufi means wise!”

Again, another says, “I am most interested in learning to walk on the spiritual path, only I don’t want to be bound by any discipline.” And another says, “I don’t want to join a society.” But you accept membership of a nation! You cannot exist without a nation, without being a citizen, and you do not want to have the privilege of a community. You want to have the highest privilege of life which is wisdom, and you cannot join a group. Imagine!

Another says, “Murshid, I cannot do a mechanical practice like repeating a word; it bores me.” A person who goes to a voice producer [i.e. a teacher of voice production : ed.], he makes such faces with open mouth in order to improve his voice; for developing his voice he makes all sorts of grimaces. But when it comes to the highest and most important and valuable thing, he cannot sit and repeat something a hundred times; he says, “It makes me agitated!”

They will not join, they will not accept discipline, they will not respect the teacher, they will not have regard for the other members, they will not study nor practice–but they want to be spiritual! Do I not meet such examples every day? And how many you cannot imagine. Yet at the same time I accept them all. One by his finger, one by his wrist, one by his hand, one by his leg; some way or other they are got in. And after some time, they understand.

Therefore, my mureeds, our difficulties are many. It is a pioneer work and most difficult to carry out, especially at this moment when we are only beginning. The only thing that strengthens us is our faith in the truth of the Message, which will help us all through life. The more we join hands, the more we feel for the truth of the cause, the better we will be able to do our duty.

To be continued…

*Annie Besant (1847 – 1933 CE) was a British writer and activist who, in 1907, became President of the Theosophical Society founded in the United States by Mme. Blavatsky.