We continue with the teachings of Hazrat Inayat Khan on the art of personality, first begun here and continued here. In this brief passage, he plays upon the English word ‘gentleman,’ distinguishing between the one who is ‘gentle,’ and the one who is only ‘man.’ The word ‘gentleman’ was of course once used as a class distinction, but it also came to signify someone of a refined and cultivated nature.
Consideration and Self-control
Every impulse has its influence upon the word and upon the action. Therefore naturally every impulse exerts its full power through words and deeds unless it is checked. There are two types of persons: those who have learnt to check their word and action when these exert their full power and express themselves abruptly; the other kind of persons are those who mechanically allow this natural impulse to show itself in their word and deed without giving any though to it. The former, therefore, is gentle, and the latter is man. Gentleness is the principal thing in the art of personality; one can see how gentleness works as the principal thing in every art. In painting, in drawing, in line and color it is gentleness which appeals most to the soul. The same we see in music. A musician may be qualified enough to play rapidly and may know all the technique, but what produces beauty is his gentle touch.
It is mainly gentleness which is the basis of all refinement. But where does it come from? It comes from consideration, and it is practiced by self-control. There is a saying in Hindustani: ‘The weaker the person, the more ready to be angry.’ The reason is that he has no control over his nerves; it is often lack of control over oneself which is the cause of lack of gentleness.
No doubt one learns gentleness by consideration. One must learn to think before saying or doing. Besides one must not forget the idea of beauty. One must know that it is not enough simply to say or do, but that it is necessary to say or do everything beautifully. It is the development of the nations and races which is expressed in gentleness. Also, it is the advancement of the soul’s evolution which expresses itself in gentleness. Nations and races, as well as individuals, will show backwardness in their evolution if they show lack of gentleness.
At this time the world’s condition is such that it seems that the art of personality has been much neglected. Man, intoxicated with the life of cupidity* and the competitive spirit, is held by the commercialism of the day, is kept busy in the acquirement of the needs of his everyday life, and the beauty which is the need of the soul is lost to view. Man’s interest in all aspects of life, science, art, philosophy, remains incomplete in the absence of the art of personality. How rightly the distinction has been made in the English language between man and gentleman!
*=greed for wealth